A long bout of illness, several doctors, many, many tests and all negative reports with the final diagnosis of 'viral infection'(not Covid) inspired this post. However, for the many wolves out there, there are several angels too! C'est la vie! I am humbled by their dedication and grateful to them. For the others...well, once I have vented in writing it don't matter no more! All tongue and all cheek...

 HOW TO SURVIVE THOSE WOLVES IN WHITECOATS

 

Like hardened criminals who have various lawyers on their speed dial, we commoners also have various Doctors in our Contact list. One will not do anymore for the multitude of ailments that we are prone to after the Pandemic. How do we find the truly caring Doctors who are dedicated to their profession amongst the many who do not give a damn for anything but the moolah you represent? How does one weed out those wolves in white coats? Some wolves are easy to spot… they are among those who have converted their residence garages into a fancy clinic where they see patients on some evenings after their hospital consultations. The patient is now parked there instead of the Porsche he helped in funding! For the more elusive wolves here are a few pointers I picked up the hard way….

 

1) BEWARE THE APPEARANCE BIAS…. We tend to give more credibility to Doctors who look the part, are well turned out and communicate well. Unfortunately the path to their sartorial elegance has been paved by gullible people like us – taken in with the exterior toppings and fancy degrees. Unless he is skilled and empathetic it does not matter if he looks like an onion seller or does not mince words. Remember the wolf in sheep’s clothing? Unless his fancy looks and manner match up to his diagnosis and treatment, he is not the real deal…go to the next one on that Contact list so that a listing on the Obituary section is not next…

 

2) “BY APPOINTMENT ONLY…” the minute your Doctor states this – RUN – in the opposite direction! Bad enough he is seeing you in his garage where a car should be parked and not a human – he is giving you timings to be ill? So, if you do not fall ill on Monday, Wednesday, Friday between 6 and 8 pm (his garage timings) sorry, bad luck. This is a Designer Doctor (designed to part you from your money, not illness) and you would be well advised to seek an appointment with a Doctor who sees patients every day in his clinic or at least do an online consultation or guide you to a colleague in case they are full up. Back away from this garage mechanic…

 

3) TESTING, TESTING, TESTING…. And then there are those Doctors who will not even bother to put a stethoscope on your chest – it is hidden away in an unopened drawer and never put to use. With an arsenal of antibiotics at their disposal why bother wasting time? And, when they do ask you to open your mouth they will ensure they are one and a half feet away and shine a little torch from that safe distance. Forget listening to symptoms or checking your B.P…. the prescription pad appears and every test, scan and X-ray is ordered and then out comes the receipt book and consultation fee is gobbled before you can blink. The very fact that every time you enter the garage it is swarming with medical representatives should give you a clue. See those black coats and run before you see this white coat….

 

4) THE ANTIBIOTIC KING AND QUEEN….you have a cold? Take an antibiotic. Cough – antibiotic. Fever – more antibiotics and it does not matter that antibiotics are ineffective for viral infections. The Doc has to please the black coat Medical Representative and try out all the latest antibiotics on you even where a simple Disprin/Dolo or chicken soup would suffice. Back out, do a U-turn and flee from this antibiotic happy Doctor’s garage unless you want to fund the BMW, Mercedes and Ferrari as well….

And finally, when you have a fever or cold, your GP does not need a string of alphabets behind his or her name. You need a medical practitioner who looks, listens, touches and is not ready with his finger on the antibiotic trigger! Unless warranted most minor illnesses are cured by good food and adequate rest, but that does not require a Doctor’s prescription does it? So, the next time you are tempted to enter that garage converted to a clinic, pause, reflect and reverse! Otherwise you just might end up with your body on overdrive and your bank balance on overdraft!

 

Nimmou Nilakantan