OUR CHILDREN

OUR CHILDREN

Our children are not our future. They are our past and present but not our future. A wonderful loving past and a present of happiness, fun and sharing but a bygone era is a bygone era – let it go…

 If you are looking for love in your old age then grandchildren seem like the second chance. Unfortunately, with all of us living to an overripe old age that love too has finite possibilities – with each passing year the grandparent has less relevance. And with a rival as omnipotent and omnipresent as technology- there is no competition to claim their attention or time. Your grandchild would any day choose the latest I-Phone over his grandparent. And granddaughters, though more expressive and empathetic – one phone call from her bestie and you are as good as ashes scattered like memories.

So, which love holds true and steadfast till the end of our life? Spousal love, if you are blessed to be in a true union of souls, is a good prize but it is the consolation prize and subject to both of you living the same duration of time. Also, your spouse comes with his/her own baggage and as you grow older you can barely lift your own! Sharing is all very well but like a three legged race you are best balanced when you are on your own two feet.

The ultimate prize is- “Self-Love”. For centuries our philosophers, poets, visionaries and Saints have gone blue in the face trying to din this fact into our numb skulls. From Buddha to Gibran, Rumi to Vivekananda – the essential message is the same – all love comes from within. Love yourself and the world is a better place. But like the magpie that covets another’s nest our happiness is based on pursuit – usually of the unattainable or in today’s world – the unavailable!

Just as mountain climbers feel that Everest exists to be climbed and conquered, we have made it our life’s mission to be loved and cherished by others. The day we stop looking for that elusive feeling of being affirmed and accept that contentment and love resides within us that is the day our flame shines brightest till our last breath blows it out…

Nimmou Nilakantan