A DIFFERENT RESOLUTION

Oh no! New Year looms and wouldn’t you know it when every magazine, newspaper, radio and all forms of social media focus on one thing and one thing only – how to get thin and fit into that little black dress on the 31^st December. Under the guise of ‘Physical Fitness’ you are bombarded with images of fatties who became thinnies by following XYZ diets and every day you hear on the radio a new workout plan to get you in shape in 30 days never mind the shape you are in now. Pious resolutions to eat healthy, drink less, exercise more and quit smoking are floated around like so many hot air balloons. Well, it is time to take out the pin or rather the pen, in this case, and burst those over hyped, inflated balloons. Here goes…

Okay, all of us lust after the body beautiful- for ourselves too! It has long been touted as the ticket to success, the visa to the promised land and the only road to Nirvana. Never mind mental or fiscal fitness, let’s get physical is the mantra for success. For years, our Yogis have saved every last breath to expound on the mind/body connection but all we have focused on is the body beautiful while the ugly mind rages within. Here is my take on tapping the beauty within for 2017…

BE KIND, BE LOVING

Whether it is a parent, child, neighbor or your domestic help – these are two qualities in short supply (apart from cash) and always appreciated. Okay, that is the equivalent of 100 crunches for the abs and instead of that flat belly, the flagship of a fit body, you have a loving heart, the flagship of a beautiful mind. Make the right choice….

MAKE TIME

Al of us are so busy working and working out we have no time to spare – unless it is on Facebook where pressing Like takes a nanosecond. Look around you and see the lonely parent, a depressed friend, a fearful child. All you need to give is your precious time to change a life. None of us are too busy for the things we love but when did we become too busy for the people we love? Now that is the equivalent of that 30 minutes of cardio on the treadmill and guess what? It’s better for your heart too….

SEE BEAUTY ALL AROUND YOU

In spite of the ugliness that surrounds us there is also beauty around us. We faithfully down carrot juice to improve our eyesight but we are so blind to nature’s bounty and beauty. That silvery sliver of the moon, those molten rays of golden sunshine, that wintery breath of cold fresh air early in the morning, those flowers glimpsed in the neighbour’s garden – there is so much to be thankful for. Also, the kindness of a stranger, the grace in the face of extreme poverty, the innocence in a child’s smile. Open that third eye to appreciate the hidden beauty around and watch the world do a 360 degree tilt. Now that takes care of your lunges, squats and prone planks – viewing the world from a different angle and achieving a higher plane…

EXTEND THE HAND OF FRIENDSHIP

We have become so competitive – who has a smaller butt, who runs faster, who has more designer gear – that we have forgotten to extend our hands in friendship. Bake a cake, call a friend, share a cup of tea and remember you are never lonely when you are being a friend. Let’s call this the equivalent of joining a studio and paying mega bucks to silently do Yoga among a group of strangers…

LEARN SOMETHING NEW

Like hamsters on a treadmill we go to work, work out hard, party hard and focus on decimating the competition. When was the last time you learned something new? A new hobby, played scrabble, learned a foreign language, wrote with your left hand? Doing the same thing day after day dulls our mind and we constantly seek new avenues to appease our senses. Instead of taekwondo, tame your mind – go ahead, it is more challenging than you think…

There it is in a nutshell. No fanatical fitness regime, no macrobiotic/probiotic crap diet, no wasting money to be entombed in a room with machines or strangers. Don’t have to think out of the box – just think! We are so busy controlling our body that we have forgotten our heart and soul! Now go connect the dots…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Nimmou Nilakantan  

AMMA

AMMA

Today is Amma's 79th birthday.

It is five years since Amma went out of our lives.

And, every time I fear the connection is growing weaker with the passage of time something happens to make me hear Amma's voice - loud and clear.

Today it was the hindi song - 'Sara pyaar tumhaara maine bandh liya...' that Nachu had used as the background song playing to the collage of pictures tracing Amma's journey from marriage till the last great grandson (Maanas) that she held in her arms.

I missed that birthday of Amma's and today when I turned the radio on at 4 am this song began to play.

On Amma's 79th birthday.

A poignant reminder of the one birthday I missed - her 74th.

I began to feel her presence with each word in the song that Nachu had so aptly chosen to fit the beautiful collage of pictures.

In every note I could hear Amma and as I began to cry I could feel Amma close to me.

And then I realised the memory of one's mother never dies nor does her spirit.

It lives in each of her children and all it takes is a word, a smile, a song to bring back to life this part of ours which we think is missing.

And that is the beauty of birth - you create a life within you which lives on far beyond your death.

Your children are your eternity Amma - they are your immortality because as long as there is breath in our body some part of you will always remain alive.

We will cherish the memory and pass it on to our children or anything that embodied what you believed in - and the foremost was love.

Your love for people and your belief in the world. You never gave up on loving your four children - that is the eternal flame you have passed on to us which will never burn out.

Happy Birthday Dearest Amma - we will always love you....

THE COUNTERFEIT NOTE

A parent’s job description, in the early years of child rearing, is very clear – act as an early warning alarm when they see their children head towards disaster and pick them up preferably without the hard slap and I-TOLD-YOU-So- after the warning has been ignored and the kid got hurt.

When the children grow up follow the simple policy of no warnings and no finger wagging. Save all the lectures, recriminations or the injured martyr act and spare yourself the heartache of relegation. Take solace in Karma.

Karma is nothing but a kindness returned and cruelty redoubled. Resist the grim satisfaction in knowing that a lesson has been taught though there is the inevitable heartache and anguish that in spite of the trip alarm you so painstakingly set up your dumb ‘kids’ still fell. Pick them up, dust them off, wash the scrapes and cuts and comfort them.

If you cannot do that, then you are the fake currency that devalues the whole parent child/adult relationship. And very soon the ‘children’ will realize there is nothing to be gained by the promissory note that is only fit for I-told-you-so and not I-owe-you. They will turn a deaf ear, a blind eye and a hard heart to the very people who brought them into existence but could not condone their mistakes.

God never intended parents, in their dotage, to only be binoculars scanning the horizon for danger. Nor did he put a whistle around their neck to blow at the first hint of trouble. All children have to embark on their own voyage of discovery and if they do not want to listen to you for God’s sake- mute the volume unless you want to be white noise.

Beyond a point, it makes no sense to keep repeating things like a parrot and then squawk in indignation when it falls on deaf ears. Ask yourself this- “What value do I have in this relationship – the gold coin or the counterfeit note?

Some things in life cannot be bought but we have to remember that somethings also cannot be sold. And, true love falls in both categories….

Nimmou Nilakantan