THE COUNTERFEIT NOTE

A parent’s job description, in the early years of child rearing, is very clear – act as an early warning alarm when they see their children head towards disaster and pick them up preferably without the hard slap and I-TOLD-YOU-So- after the warning has been ignored and the kid got hurt.

When the children grow up follow the simple policy of no warnings and no finger wagging. Save all the lectures, recriminations or the injured martyr act and spare yourself the heartache of relegation. Take solace in Karma.

Karma is nothing but a kindness returned and cruelty redoubled. Resist the grim satisfaction in knowing that a lesson has been taught though there is the inevitable heartache and anguish that in spite of the trip alarm you so painstakingly set up your dumb ‘kids’ still fell. Pick them up, dust them off, wash the scrapes and cuts and comfort them.

If you cannot do that, then you are the fake currency that devalues the whole parent child/adult relationship. And very soon the ‘children’ will realize there is nothing to be gained by the promissory note that is only fit for I-told-you-so and not I-owe-you. They will turn a deaf ear, a blind eye and a hard heart to the very people who brought them into existence but could not condone their mistakes.

God never intended parents, in their dotage, to only be binoculars scanning the horizon for danger. Nor did he put a whistle around their neck to blow at the first hint of trouble. All children have to embark on their own voyage of discovery and if they do not want to listen to you for God’s sake- mute the volume unless you want to be white noise.

Beyond a point, it makes no sense to keep repeating things like a parrot and then squawk in indignation when it falls on deaf ears. Ask yourself this- “What value do I have in this relationship – the gold coin or the counterfeit note?

Some things in life cannot be bought but we have to remember that somethings also cannot be sold. And, true love falls in both categories….

Nimmou Nilakantan