OUR CHILDREN
Our children are not our future. They are our past and
present but not our future. A wonderful loving past and a present of happiness,
fun and sharing but a bygone era is a bygone era – let it go…
If you are looking
for love in your old age then grandchildren seem like the second chance.
Unfortunately, with all of us living to an overripe old age that love too has
finite possibilities – with each passing year the grandparent has less
relevance. And with a rival as omnipotent and omnipresent as technology- there
is no competition to claim their attention or time. Your grandchild would any
day choose the latest I-Phone over his grandparent. And granddaughters, though
more expressive and empathetic – one phone call from her bestie and you are as
good as ashes scattered like memories.
So, which love holds true and steadfast till the end of our
life? Spousal love, if you are blessed to be in a true union of souls, is a
good prize but it is the consolation prize and subject to both of you living
the same duration of time. Also, your spouse comes with his/her own baggage and
as you grow older you can barely lift your own! Sharing is all very well but
like a three legged race you are best balanced when you are on your own two
feet.
The ultimate prize is- “Self-Love”. For centuries our
philosophers, poets, visionaries and Saints have gone blue in the face trying
to din this fact into our numb skulls. From Buddha to Gibran, Rumi to
Vivekananda – the essential message is the same – all love comes from within.
Love yourself and the world is a better place. But like the magpie that covets
another’s nest our happiness is based on pursuit – usually of the unattainable
or in today’s world – the unavailable!
Just as mountain climbers feel that Everest exists to be
climbed and conquered, we have made it our life’s mission to be loved and
cherished by others. The day we stop looking for that elusive feeling of being
affirmed and accept that contentment and love resides within us that is the day
our flame shines brightest till our last breath blows it out…
Nimmou Nilakantan
