Soon after our children were born a funny thing happened. My
husband and I stopped communicating with words. It happened slowly but surely
and by the time we realized it the children were grown and gone. We had lapsed
into ‘Groan’ language! A lot like sign language but instead of expending a lot
of energy on hands and facial expressions this just required the use of vocal
chords at a high decibel and one word – GROAN!
‘Your turn to feed the baby” – GROAN! “Take him to music
class” – GROAN! “She needs to have her bite corrected so..” – GROAN!!!
The decibel level of GROAN increases with the perceived
level of exertion and does not even wait for communication to finish. I blame
the kids completely – they reduced their parents to primates. We just raised it
a notch from a GRUNT to a more sophisticated GROAN.
But now, we have the ultimate weapon of mass communication
in our arsenal – the MOAN! Yes, you heard it right. We have evolved folks. From
groaning to each other we MOAN to the whole world and especially to our grownup
kids.
“How are you Mom?” when the lumps remember their source of
existence.
“MOAN” and the conversation dies a natural death. No more
listening to their litany of woes or lending that unsympathetic and partially
deaf ear. That flew out of the window a long time ago and suddenly the empty
nest held vast possibilities for improvement.
Except for one permanent lodger of course. But, that is a
cross that’s easy to bear. “Can I get a hot cup of tea love?” asked with that
false note of hope, cheer and despair all rolled into one and immediately met
with, you guessed it, the MOAN!!
Whoever said a picture is worth a thousand words got it
partially right. A ‘MOAN’ is good for a thousand words AND covers the full
picture….
Nimmou Nilakantan
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