THE DENTIST DRILL
No two words can strike more terror in your heart or turn
your legs to jelly as, no, not “You’re fired” or even “Hand’s up” but “Root
Canal”. As soon as your dentist utters those words it sets your teeth on edge.
How do you survive the dentist’s drill? Here are a few survival tips…
COMFORT, COMFORT, COMFORT
Wear loose clothing. Ditch that tight fitting top or skinny
jeans. You cannot make a fashion statement while lying like a gutted fish in
the dentist’s chair. And, you definitely cannot in the midst of all that
drilling sneak a hand up to loosen a few buttons to stop hyperventilating or a
hand down to loosen your belt. Whether it’s fear that makes you swell up or the
fact that you wolfed down those salty snacks to soothe those jangled nerves,
dressing like a convict in those baggy, shapeless, loose fitting clothes is the
way to go. Anyway, you are imprisoned in the dentist’s chair for the next hour
with no escape in sight…
SOUND OF MUSIC
Don’t forget your headphones with your favourite play list.
There is nothing more terrifying than the sound of the drill as it nears your
mouth. That’s when your mind drums up worse case scenarios. What if your
dentist sneezes or has a fit as the drill hovers above you? Visions of the
drill cutting your tongue instead of your teeth sets your nerves jangling.
Close your eyes! It’s that simple. Go to your La La land and stay there till
you hear the word ‘Rinse’. And, spare a thought for the poor man who cannot do
the same. While you have a view of the white ceiling when you do open your
eyes, all he can see is a Picasso rendering of a mouth…
SIGN LANGUAGE
Learn it – quickly! Most doctors have mastered the art of
asking their patients questions which have no answers. The dentist has
perfected the art and refined it to asking questions only when your mouth is
wide open and you are slowly drowning in your own saliva. As your tongue moves
futilely in your mouth trying to answer his kind query of “Are you okay?” all
you can manage is “Arurggh” while saliva dribbles down your chin. Keep notes
clenched in your fist with terse one word replies or commands – YES! STOP!
OUCH! HOW MUCH LONGER? Establish a clear line of communication and no, Morse
code will not do! You cannot tap on the hand that holds the drill and you
cannot tug at his sleeve, so unless you can think quickly on your back you might
as well lie mute and pray he sees the desperate pleading in your eyes….
ME, ME, ME
Frantic hand waving when you knew the answer to a question
worked in kindergarten. As you went up the ranks you realized that teachers
began to look at you as part of a particularly annoying herd to be ignored at
every opportunity. Dentists unlike teachers don’t ignore you on purpose. They
are so used to looking into the manhole of decay and disease that they can be
pardoned for forgetting there is a man under the hole! Ensure your dentist sees
you as the fine example of humankind you are and not just as a set of 32 teeth
subject to plaque, gingivitis or whatever torture you brought on yourself by
midnight binges and not flossing afterwards. Some doctors, noble souls that
they are, are so dedicated to healing that they tend to forget the human under
the faulty part they have to repair. To a heart specialist you could be a
malfunctioning aorta or to an orthopedist a dicky knee but you will be darned
if you are just a faulty smile to your dentist. Establish a conversation before
the procedure so that you are not limited to ‘Spit’ and ‘Rinse’ and you might
find that there is a very likable man behind the mask too!
And finally, it comes down to prevention. Brush, floss,
gargle – do whatever it takes to prevent those 32 time bombs ticking in your mouth.
His job is to restore your smile. And yours? Taking care that your bite is
better than your bark so that he doesn’t laugh all the way to the bank!
Nimmou Nilakantan
