BEYOND LONELY
Once I hit the mid-fifties, I
found a distressing trait emerged. I began to constantly talk about being
lonely to the only constant in my life- my long enduring spouse. The kids had
grown and fled, my mother was dead, my siblings were not interested, my friends
were still gainfully employed and my servant had quit five years before. With
no faithful cat or dog and a maniacal resistance to working full time, coupled
with a fierce intensity to my daily workout that left only one person who leant
a patient ear to my daily plaintive cry-“I am so lonely...”
One day I realized I was sick of
this place called ‘Lonely’ and decided to move out of it. And, lo and behold
(sorry could not resist that!) I discovered this beautiful place called ‘Beyond
lonely’. Allow me to share it with you...
In ‘Beyond Lonely’ the phone
never rings but the sound of silence no longer bothers you. Ok, when it did
ring occasionally, it did bother you because you were the repository of a
litany of complaints from your sister, a list of disasters suffered by poor old
Dad, more complaints from friends ticked off by their spouses and alarming
tidbits of information from those grown up hulks, obstinately referred to as
‘kids’....
Instead of glaring at the phone
and willing it to ring- you reach
out and dial. Anybody who you think needs a cheerful ‘Hello’ trilled in their
ear (including the complaint boxes that need it most!). Miraculously, your day
brightens up and the sun shines brightly in the blue skies of ‘Beyond
Lonely’...
There is no guilt in ‘Beyond lonely’. You love some thing; you indulge that
love like a fond grandparent would indulge that precious grandchild of theirs. Unfortunately,
the love that consumes us in middle age/old age is food and it becomes a
dangerous hobby when over-indulged. But, apart from this passion there are so
many things worthy of loving and doing. ‘Beyond Lonely’ is that paradise where
you have all the time in the world to do what you love most. Whether it is
reading, writing, walking, cooking, listening to music or just lazing, in
‘Beyond Lonely’ nobody disturbs or questions you! It is the island that is
never reached but there are so many life rafts waiting to take you to shore
wherever you want...
In ‘Beyond Lonely’ time has only
the significance you bestow upon it. Hey, ‘Beyond Lonely’ is for those who have
done hard time in that jail called Duty- as a sister, daughter, wife, mother,
career woman. We are still not into dotage but have got our feet stuck in
concrete while our heads are still in the clouds. All around life is buzzing
but in ‘Being Lonely’ it seems to pass you by and you feel shut out. In ‘Beyond
Lonely’, like the improbable green shoot which pokes out of a crack in the
cemented footpath- a new way of life is stirring and beckoning.
What are you waiting for? Jump
into ‘Beyond Lonely’ and live the life you always dreamed of but were too busy
to live it. Instead of moaning into Old Age, transit into New Age where Self matters and the word Lonely is in
the lexicon of losers! You are so Beyond Lonely....
Nimmou Nilakantan
6th Jan 2015
