MOURNING
When your wife of nearly six decades, passes away, you mourn not just
her death, you are also bereft of your life, as you knew it. For 56 years you
had your mate by your side and even if she was not physically present every
moment of those years, like a vine she was entwined in the very fabric of your
being. And, when that vine withered it was the mighty oak which supported it,
that fell with a mighty crash.
And no one gets it.
They sympathize with your loss, they empathize with your
loneliness but they just do not understand that you are faced with not one loss
but two- her life and the life you
had, with her.
The older you are the harder it is to uproot and re-invent
yourself as a single entity. The pillar has gone and the edifice has nothing to
support it.
In actuality, it is the reverse- the building has gone and
with it the pillar, with nothing to support begins to crumble.
The bulwark needed the burden.
Community, children, grandchildren, friends are just
tentacles that twine themselves around, seeking solace in offers of help, not
realizing that what is left is a brittle shell crumbling bit by bit, wanting
desperately not for words of comfort, but to join the one who has run their
race.
Nobody wants to be
left behind either in life or in death....
Nimmou Nilakantan
July 3rd 2013
