THE MARRIAGE RING
Why is marriage still looked upon by society as a cure for
all evils? Earlier, when someone suffered from epilepsy marriage was touted as
the best remedy. As if faulty circuitry in the brain could be re-wired by a
legalized romp in the sack! Today, though India is in the league of economic
giants, sadly we remain minnows in the face of a vengeful society that
persecutes the unmarried. We have marriage forums like Bharath matrimony,
Shaadi.com, Jeevan Sathi etc.etc. whose noble purpose is to bring two, starved
for love, souls together while making a shitload of money in the process. It is
nothing but a platform for the desperate plea of parents who look upon
unmarried girls as an unwanted commodity to be dumped on the best bidder. And
the boys become ‘bakras’ posting their profiles with the forlorn hope of
ensnaring a partner to fulfill their dream of a fairy tale romance.
The ground reality is that both boys and girls are playing
their parents in a dangerous game of Seek, Meet and Retreat. And, here is the
paradox- you get your parents on the bridal bandwagon and join in the ‘seek the
dream partner fest’ with little regard that this is not a mango mela where you
settle for the juiciest fruit. These are real people with real feelings which get
hurt with every rebuff.
So, while the hapless parents wring their hands in despair
and yet doggedly pursue every lead in the matrimonial mayhem, the girls and
boys happily press the delete button sending the desperate parents on yet
another wild goose chase, while insisting they want to get married.
When are we parents going to remove the jasmine tinted
glasses and tune out the clamor for wedding bells? I know- when we parents take
a firm stand and tell our ‘kids’ to go forth, seek and find your own! If not,
go forth and multiply (in other words f##k off) and face the damn consequences.
We are tired people and just want to flop in our favourite
chair and drink a cup of tea in peace. We do not want to be matchmakers or
candle stick makers and yet we are forced by a relentless society which sniffs
a bachelor/spinster past their ‘sell by date’. The dreaded query ‘Your
daughter/son is still not married?’
launches us into yet another frenzied attempt to woo people we know precious
little about except what we glean from their carefully doctored (and mainly
padded up) profiles of themselves.
After having my fingers burned in this mug’s game of finding
a ‘suitable’ bride for my son and getting rejected by girls on the flimsiest of
pretexts (usually masking a desperate desire not to enter the state of
matrimony) I have a word of advice to other long suffering parents. Love and respect your children’s choices. They are not
goods to be auctioned off and you are not
fulfilling their destiny by finding them a marriage partner.
And, to the next nosy relative/frenemy/ colleague/ neighbour
who solicitously enquires about the marital status of your progeny, look them
in the eye and tell them the wedding invite is in the mail- it is time to cash
our cheques folks!
Nimmou Nilakantan
542 words
